Tall Stories Two December

Category Business Continuity Articles - Crisis Management and BCM Tall Stories from Peter Power The perils of Celebration

In this rather seasonal installment of Peter Powers' Tall Stories he turns his eye to Christmas and the perils of Retail Therapy. We should be so lucky, ... lucky,lucky, lucky (sorry Kylie) It is the season of goodwill and already shop assistants are queuing up to ring the Samaritans. Just think for a minute what they have to endure. Non stop Noddy Holder telling the world "it's Chhhhhristmas…". (Ed Note: For those blessed with ignorance, Noddy is the lead singer of the Band, Slade, unfortunately for us.) Unlike us they have no chance to run out of the store when they reach saturation point. On an average day these staunch soldiers of high street retailing will have to listen to the same track at least 160 times. So when you next confront a pale, dribbling, incoherent shop assistant enduring a perpetual near death experience, remember to give generously. They need our help at Christmas. Which reminds me of a story the other day about some people who certainly did not appreciate the help they were getting. In central Serbia it is the custom at most outdoor weddings to fire guns into the air when the bride and groom emerge as man and wife. I am grateful to the BBC for publishing this true account - when all did not go according to plan: "Guests at a wedding in central Serbia have apparently shot down a small aircraft by mistake. They were celebrating in the traditional way - firing off shot after shot into the air above the wedding party. Unfortunately, there was a two-seater aircraft flying overhead. One eye-witness told reporters the plane was shot in the left wing. He saw flames coming from the aircraft which a few moments later flew into overhead power-cables. Two men on board are reported to have been seriously injured. Firing weapons is a common way of celebrating here. The Serbian Government has run public health campaigns warning of the obvious dangers." This takes Business Continuity into new areas perhaps? Having to arrange contingency arrangements alongside the best man, bridesmaids and ushers just in case the odd aircraft is brought down by gunfire from excited guests? However, such bizarre stories do not end there. I have also been passed an even more curious (and I think suspicious…) story about an incident in the US quoted by CNN just a few days ago: "Johnson City, Tennessee. A bullet fired in the air during a Ku Klux Klan initiation ceremony came down and struck a participant in the head, critically injuring him, authorities said. Gregory Allen Freeman, 45, was charged with aggravated assault and reckless endangerment in the Saturday night incident that wounded Jeffery S. Murr, 24. About 10 people, including two children, had gathered for the ceremony. The man who was being initiated was blindfolded, tied with a noose to a tree and shot with paintball guns as Freeman fired a pistol in the air to provide the sound of real gunfire, Sheriff Fred Phillips said. A bullet struck Murr on the top of the head and exited at the bottom of his skull, authorities said. Freeman fled the ceremony…" Tied to a tree, blindfolded and shot at with paintball guns and then getting a bullet to drop on your head from probably a mile above you? I really would like to know (a) how can anyone tie a rope or shoot anything when looking through a couple of small eye holes cut through a white sheet and (b) apart from this, did Mr Murr otherwise enjoy his initiation? As for me, I think I'll stick to Morris Dancing which as most of us know, is the traditional weekend pastime for all BC managers in the UK (Ed note: OH NO it isn't!), especially at the end of a frustrating week. Perhaps shop assistants can also join in from now on as nothing relives stress like bashing each other with small sticks, waving hankerchives in the air, attaching tiny bells to your knees, tucking your socks into your trousers and doing all this whilst spinning around in front of the nearest pub door . Something no doubt intended to bewilder anyone intending to migrate to this country and certainly confuse and amuse our much cousins in the US. (Ed note: this is only normal the way OUT of the establishment Peter) The US has been in the news in the last few days for other reasons, not least when President Bush dropped in on his soldiers in Iraq for that altogether more sensible occasion of Thanksgiving. Now this does sound the perfect antidote to Christmas for it delays the onset of Christmas shopping / Noddy Holder / retail suicide rates for a brief period. Even turkeys vote for it as nobody in the US can stand eating them all over again at Christmas. But did you see that picture of the President holding a giant bird for his troops to eat? The homely photo of a smiling Mr Bush apparently proffering a platter with a huge succulent Turkey was intended to be a key image of his presidency. However, now we know a slightly different story. The Turkey was in fact a model / fake that 'just happened' to be on hand for a photo opportunity, presumably arranged by his spin doctors, but someone somewhere must have said something out of turn and now the true story has been told. All this reminds me of one more story about a small child sitting at his father's knee saying his prayers was lately heard to say "…and forgive us our Christmasses as we forgive them that Christmas against us….." Happy Christmas everyone!

Peter is MD of Visor Consultants Limited. He is well known as an authoritative and entertaining presenter, especially on the subject of Crisis Management where he has gained a lot of personal experience, often at the front end of events. Peter wrote the current issued guidebooks on BC and/or Crisis Management, for the DTI, British Institute of Facilities Management and the British Bankers Association. He occasionally speaks on TV and radio and is a founder member of the UK judging panel for BC Awards, a Fellow of the Chartered Management Institute, Fellow of the Business Continuity Institute, Member of the Institute of Risk Management and a member of the Guild of Freemen of the City of London If you have any Tall Stories that you would like to feature on the Forum Website, please email Russell.price@continuityforum.org or call us on 00 44 (0) 208 993 1599.